Why is it such a struggle to get information out of people? For some reason, it seems to be more prevalent with the patients coming through the Drive-Thru or calling on the phone, but you'll get the occasional walk-in who doesn't know his own name, address, or for that matter what he is even doing there. He came to refill...something...but what?!
My job is not to play 20 questions with your sorry stupid self. If you are going to initiate a phone call or drive-thru encounter, you best come prepared. Because if you don't bring a bottle or name of your medication or something, and give me this stupid look like I'm supposed to telepathically know which one you need, I'm going to shrug and wish you better luck next time. Go back home and call me when you find the bottle, k?
One instance happened as such yesterday. A well-dressed black man, most likely coming from church, and approaches my drive-thru in his shiny car and rings the bell. I ask him how I can help him, to which he replies he is picking up a script. I search his name, and alas, nothing is filled or in the process of being filled. So I instead pull up his profile while asking him if he was expecting something to be called in, or had he dropped it off?
He informs me that he called it in "like a week and a half ago". Ah-hah. I politely inform him, we only keep prescriptions sitting unclaimed in our pharmacy for 7 days, but that if he knew what he needed, I could refill it again. Did he know? No, of course not.
Do you know the name? No. Do you have a bottle with you? No. Do you know what you're taking it for? Nope. At this point, I gave him this wide-eyed look and held my hands out in a futile gesture. Do you know what letter it starts with? And would you believe, he rolls his eyes, shrugs, and responds "no", with a "no, should I?" inflection. I stopped, I just freakin' stopped, and told him, he would need to somehow identify what he needed before I could fill anything. He huffs, all exaggerated like, "I guess I'll have to go home and call it in again!" I gleefully remind him as he is driving off, "Alright, but we'll only hold it for 7 days!"
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Generally, I'll only remember you if:
- you have a cool first and/or last name
- you're one of "those" customers, trying to get your controls early again
- you made an ass of yourself at some point (i.e. threw a fit, bitched, harassed us)
- I fill an arseload of prescriptions for you because you're decrepitly old and your body is starting to fail you
Even if I pause for a moment, thinking they'll thrust a name at me eventually, they just sit there instead. "HALLO??? IS U DERE? IS IT REDDY? WUT IT CAWST?" They're completely oblivious to the fact that I'm not actually a psychic. I have to drag your name out of you with a "And who am I speaking to?".
Occasionally, there's a caller who has a question and/or problem. So this is how they introduce it to you:
Me: Hi, thanks for calling Megapharmacy, Me speaking, how can I help you?
Stupid: Hai I jus gat mah stuff and these pills is blue and I think yah gave me deh rong pills can ah bring em back I jus left and anyway ah need anuddah refill cuz I fohgot mah pressure pills an an can u refill mah son's inhaler too k I'll be dere in leik 10 minutes k BAI *click*
Me: WHO ARE YOU?!?@?#@#@??!!
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If you're dropping off or picking up for someone else, you had better know something about them. If you're dropping off, I want the patient's (not YOURS, dummy!) date of birth and the patient's (NOT YOURS) telephone number. If you're dropping off a script for someone who has never been to this pharmacy before, you better know their address, drug allergy and health condition information, and any insurance information. If you don't, you better get to callin'. No, I will not call them. No, I will not talk to them on your dirty-ass cellphone.
If for some reason you can't manage the last bit of information (such as insurance), be aware that you had better find it out by the time you get back to pick it up, or you'll be paying the cash price and I won't bat an eye. There is no magical pharmacy database where I type in your name and get all of your insurance information, voilá!
If you're picking up for someone, I don't care what their relation is to you. I'm going to ask your for their address. If you fail to give me that information, then you're going to need to give me either their date of birth, or their telephone number(that matches the one I have). "I don't know, its for my mom/uncle/grandma/cousin/neighbor" is not an acceptable answer. You better get to callin'. I can't sell it to you otherwise.
I ain't your mama. I will not hold your hand and help you through every little step in life. You provide me with the information, and I will perform the service of filling your medications. I'm not going to sit there and try to guess what you want because I'm asking you if you're referring to your "percocet" script when in fact you're actually talking about your "indomethacin", but instead keep referring to it as "percocet" and it takes me 20 minutes to unravel this shit. And then you go, YEAH, INDOMETHACIN!
If you don't know what you're taking or why you're taking it, or what it's for, you are a fucking idiot.
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